Marriage and family class Essay

on that point atomic number 18 many different featureors of intercourse in relationships. whizz of the most much asked questions nearly talk is how 1 achieves joint communication in any type of a relationship. People sometimes feel that communication makes a better marriage. Many commonwealth a lot wonder how to reconnect with their partner after communication has stopped. Body terminology or non verbal communication plays a major role in communication. These atomic number 18 some the field of studys that will be discussed in this research paper.Mutual communication is achieved when two partners in a relationship can effectively find out and clear their feelings with wizard other. Some introduce that this is the basis for a salutary long lasting relationship. There are many skills a serious listener has to fork up. Some of which are easier to express than others are. The most important of which is expressing empathy (De Jong). In mutual communication both pa rtners should make eye contact with one another. Usually when one makes eye contact it shows that they are paying financial aid to what the other person is saying to them at the time. When mutually communicating neither partner should send destructive messages. Destructive messages include but are not limited to ordering, threatening, lecturing, and ridiculing (Lauer). Destructive messages lead to conflict and not resolution.When one person sends a destructive message to the listener the listener much than likely will get discouraged and that will make the plaza worse. Ordering and threatening lead to much of a power contend rather than to effective communication. There are manydifferent titles of a poor listener. There are throng who fake the fact that they are listening when their mind is in another place. For casing John is fashioning it seem like he is listening to his wife Julie when in fact he is thinking active his golf game the next day.There are people who interru pt. Interrupting decreases mutual communication. There are in addition people who can intellectually listen and carry on a conversation. An moral of an intellectual listener is Jessica. Jessica has just told her friend Jake about her new teacher at her college. She tells Jake what he taught and the manner in which he taught it. Jessica is clearly enceinte Jake non verbal cues that should lead him to believe that she has a romantic interest in the new teacher. Jake does not pick up on the cues but criticizes the style that the teacher holds to teach his classes.Some people say that communication makes a better marriage. Everyday conversations increase satisfaction by offering a broad range of topics to be discussed. Usually in a marriage, when universal conversation increases happiness, and the partners often laugh more together. Everyday conversation also allows the couple to talk about their interests and the happenings of their day in a relaxed and settle setting. When you keep up ripe communication in a marriage, conflicts are often calmly discussed.People in a marriage are egotism disclosed. Self disclosure is defined as the honest revealing of ones self to another. Self disclosure increases intimacy and marital satisfaction (Lahey). Partners who are in a married situation often feel the carry to communicate their feelings and ideas to keep their marriage able, happy, and healthy. The main conclude for breakup of marriages is a escape of communication (Stark). The cause for the lack of communication most often is that people do not know how to properly communicate with one another especially in a conflict situation where they do not agree on a point.Sometimes it takes mortal from a neutral point of view to point this fact out to couples, who are having line of works in the relationship. Most often the couple will not realize that they have a enigma unless an outside source points it out to them. This could avail them or create more conf lict with in the relationship. If thither is a problem, and there is no communication between the two partners in the relationship the problem willgrow. However, if there is full communication the problem has potential to be resolved and to possibly never reoccur (De Jong).It is also important, to effectively communicate, to maintain the boundaries. Maintaining boundaries is the musical interval of home(a) life history from work life. If you bring your work life into your home life discussions, it is more than likely that you will get distracted from the topic at hand (Stark). Some people bring their work life home it creates jealousy. Jealousy is also a leading cause of breakups in a relationship (Laurer). When people effectively communicate in a married relationship, exchange and role equity are heightened. Exchange equity, for prototype is the female being the primary bread winner and the male remaining home. habit equity, is sharing the chores of the house as well as the duties of the head of the house.Partners in a married relationship may have different opinions about role and exchange equity. Some people feel that the female should stay home and be a traditional house wife. For example the adult female would do the dishes, laundry, and take care of the children. Some people feel that both the male and female should be able to go to work and have a career. Effective communication in a marriage about these kinds of feelings can solve many future problems in a reasoning(prenominal) and timely manner (Lauer). Therefore, if there is ample problem solving and replete(p) communication, in a marriage it will generally be a healthier, happier, more satisfying marriage.Body oral communication or non-verbal communication is tell to be used between 50-80 percent in a relationship. Wo hands use non-verbal cues or body language more often than males do. Non verbal cues froe example are the position in which a person is sitting, the expression on ones face , or the amount of eye contact that they are making. If you have an open stroller, and are leaning in towards the speaker, you are giving off good body language. If you are sitting with your arms crossed, and a closed posture then you are giving off bad body language. Wo men also tend to read into body language and the meanings behind it more than men (Lauer).Women tend to read body language on a more emotional level than men do. For example women tend to see when someone has a romantic interest in another where as men do not see that. Partners, generally speaking, in a good relationship should be able to readthe other partners body language and know what they want to say without them always having to verbalize their thoughts. Body language can tell your partner what you are thinking without actually having to say it.I decided on this particular topic for a a couple of(prenominal) reasons. The first of which is that I have seen a lot of friends and family who have been in relation ships that did not last and wanted to figure out why that was. The sulphur reason was because I thought it could help me in my future relationship(s), and to help me from making the same mistakes that I have in the past or that others have made.Another reason that I chose this topic is because I am also interested in being a counselor and counselors need to be able to have good communication with their clients. Another reason is because counselors need to be able to understand, in some sense, where their clients are attack from and to be able to help in any way possible.One good analogy that I found one day succession surfing the internet was this If you were to be in thorough and complete communication with a car and a road, you would certainly have no difficultness driving that car. But if you are in only partial communication with the car and in no communication with the road, it is fairly certain that an casualty will occur. This was said by Ronald Hubbard who is an expert in the field of scientology. He deals mainly with the nation of communication.That quote really inspired me to look into the realm of communication further. I wanted to know what effects that it had on a relationship and / or a marriage. Just an ending piece of advice The shell problem solving agent is honest open and effective problem solving.Works CitedDeJong, Peter. Interviewing for Solutions, 2nd Edition. CaliforniaWadsworth Group, 2002.Hubbard, Ronald. www.standardtraining.com Church ofScientology International 2000-2002.Lahey, Benjamin B., psychology an introduction, 7th Edition. NewYork McGraw Hill, 2001.Laurer, Robert H. and Lauer, Jeanette C., Marriage and Family, 4thEdition. Chicago Brown & Benchmark, 2000.Stark, Rodney. Sociology, eighth Edition. Wadsworth Group, 2001.